Category: Dating and Relationships
I have a teacher who has become very close to me. He is a wonderful listener, and with him, I can be myself. I want to show that I care about him, but he doesn't listen. It's like he can't get it. Also, my parents are getting on my nerves. They keep getting angry real easy, and in return, I've been getting that way. What should I do about these things? Write back when you can.
I always had some pretty nice teachers over the years, but there weren't really any who I shared real close ties to and could talk like friends. I'm that way with my co-workers though. As for my parents, they're loving and open and honest, but they drive me crazy with our clashing views on things and they can be a bit protective... thankfully not overprotective... but still it drives me nuts that I have to cover up and say I'm decorating my room and that's my walking stick for hiking instead of I'm building an altar and that's my staff, I'm a Pagan. They don't want the dark side taking advantage of me *groan*
Whow! That's interesting! I also have sort of different views of religion than my parents, but they don't know that.
I don't think my parents really care what I do religion wise. Well, they don't want me to go join the LDS church, but other than that... my mom, as far as I can tell, doesn't really care what I do. My dad doens't even want me to be remotely interested in Wicca... good thing he doens't know how many hours I spent researching the subject a few years back eh?
Wow, I can't spell doesn't.
I'm a bit confused. You say he's a good listener but then you say he doesn't listen? Am I missing something here?
Troy
Listen pal this is nothing more than a typical teenage crush,you are reading too much in to his "interest" also your confusing this need for attention and your parents annoyance with real romantic interest on the part of this teacher,and he's a rat for leading you on
...........................................................
Dont do anything about it as you will both be damaged he will lose his job and you will be bullied and made a laughing stock I've seen it happen several times and the results were not pretty.
I don't have an interest. I go to a school where I'm away from home five out of seven days a week, so I need a fother figure, and he's all I've got. He does listen, but sometimes, when I tell him how much he helps me, he seems to not understand. Maybe he's just being humble. He's says it's his job, but I know that's not it at all. He doesn't even realize what and how he's doing. He helps me without even knowing it.
I rest my case have you thought of I dont know joining a society or finding someone to confide in other than him. Because you are still taking the risk of some interfering eejit interpreting his support as something quite different,where will he be then jobless and with a accusation levelled against him that he cant shake off.
think about it at least.
I know you're right. That's my worst fear. I want to be there for him. Not hurt him.
Look pal your a student he's a teacher does that fact not register at all...why would he need you "to be there for him" hmmm? Its a crush and nothing more.
Though this seems like the real thing he is NOT the most important thing in your life and if you carry on like this you will fail in more ways than 1!.
It isn't a crush. I know that one. No, he doesn't need me to be there for him, but I am anyway. I can't explain this verywell. So, that's all I'm gonna say. Yes, the fact that he's a teacher, and I'm a student has registered withme, but I honestly think somehow somewhere I could help him, but I am not sure why I feel this way. He's the only one that understands me completely, and he gives his opinion, but somehow he does it in a cool way. He's honest, and I like that. Maybe the reason why I like is I'm insecure about myself. I'll think over these matters tonight.
He's all I have. He's the only one I can tell Every thing to. Don't you understand how I feel!
Broadly speaking I'd have to agree with Goblin, it really sounds like a crush in one way or another. A teacher has to keep his/her distance from you because of the regulations of hi/hser job, there has to be a certain space or rules or distance between a teacher and a student, else they'd lose their job and are liable to law suits of misconduct. Therefore your teacher has to keep his distance (got the feeling it's a guy) and I think you are reading too much into him being the only one who can listen to you ... but it's a hard situation, my point is keep in mind he cannot be there for you completely even if he wanted to because of his professional ediquette rules.
cheers
-B
You're right.
Speaking as a teacher i would say that if he is a professional he would keep his distance. The burdon of responability shouldn't be yours - you don't need to show you care, if he's a good teacher he should be a good listener by default. Take care and try to remember to be cool.
Sure. but what most people haven't gotten yet is I live at a residential school, so we're like one big happy family. Even the teachers are that way with students. It's different.
I went to boarding school too - i know what you mean, but it doesn't change the teacher's professional obligation.. unless it's different where you're from.
I have always loved my teachers. I have kept in touch with many of them, and they each play a special role in my lif.e I also love my parents dearly, as I'm sure we all do, but everyone has their fights. I think teh best thing to do is just be yourself and be sincere, this goes for parents and teachers, good feelings or bad feelings. Just dont' be afraid to aplogize, but odn't be afraid to speak your mind either. Caitlin
to be cool? What does that mean in plain English this insane need to be cool is pathetic.
He is NOT all you have this is ridiculous and I'm sick of repeatedly banging my head against a brick wall,there are other ways of gaining support but you are using this guy as a crutch and that is unforgivable.
you are right, and that's wrong, but it certainly isn't forgivable.
Hi I do agree to a point that if he is willing to listen to you then I think you are fine. I would just be careful how you handle so that he does not loose his job.
That's what I'm trying to do.
Agree with mdier. Caitlin
I agree with you too. I just want to make a few things clear.
1. I don't like him other than as a friend.
2. He's not a rat. There's nothing bad about him that I know of. Other than the fact that he can be stuck on himself, which is his business.
3. I'm NOT using him as a crutch, so knock it off with that, because it's not true. He's my friend, and I'd do anything I could to protect him. I've even lied to save his job, but it wasn't what I did that made me have to lie. My mother told something that wasn't supposed to be told, she didn't minchin names, but still, I had to cover for him. I didn't care. That's what friends are for.
You go, IC! Keep up what you're doing, to help your friend, and stand up for what you believe in like you're doing. You go!
Caitlin
Thanks guys.
Well, I can honestly say that I'm over all the junk. It took me a while, but everything's cool. I just let my life get too crazy, and stuff got messed up very badly.
It's funny how things change, and if you look, you can find good in anything.
Yes, I have regular Asian socialist parents and it can be fustrating sometimes, but you just have to brush it off, advocate for yourself, and tell your teacher that you really have a liking as a close friends for her.
To me, thats just not the done thing to do. Sure, i've had teachers that i've got on pretty well with, but that would never really go any further - the implications would be huge and if I truely did feel for a teacher in a romantic sort of way, i'd back off because I would care to much about them to make them risk losing there job.
Sure, previously my tteenage self did rather like some of my teachers voices, but ones left and the others a bit slutty plus she smoaks - iddiat.